Free Fall

So, I am driving back home from work listening to the title song of 'kaminey'..the song goes on to tell about this man, everything and everyone around him including himself at some time is a kamina - worthless rascal..I couldn't agree more..I feel like that most of the times these lazy days and I like it in a way.. it makes me appreciate anything and everything in the world.. and if you are wondering would I ever write about nicer positive things, yes, I will talk about nicer things but just not yet..

So, yes, I am driving back home and I realise how much I love the solitary time to myself, confided in the small 4-door, continuously rattling 98 corolla as if shaking its body to the rythym old music system, noisy air condition and screeching breaks!.. I get a sense of lightness, of escape, of free will, as though I am falling, falling from the sky, the lightness of being nothing.

I am driving on a slope now. I keep falling on the steep slope inside the confinement, hurdling towards I don't care what, I am too happy to care.. OH! how I wish it wouldn't stop!! how I wish I just kept falling.. and then I see the solid wall of a red brick building apporaching and a pump my breaks, lawfully halt at the stop sign, wait for three seconds, look left and then right and make a turn and continue on the road home.

I stole my happy ending

Its been two years today. There has been tremendous amount of change inwards and outwards. Discontent, that remains the same. A chemical engineer with a masters in Engineering Management working in a construction management firm. My boss says "Your parents must be proud" - hell yeah. This is what runs in my mind - I am one of the millions who come to the US, earn in dollars, save have fun and live my life - my parents are still proud, they will always be. I am not.

I have two cups of coffee everyday. I fake my smile and accent to an average of 30 ppl/day, sleep about 8 hours, busy for about 5 work hours, enjoy my time in the office loo especially in the mornings (I get up early, just enough time to dress up) when no one else is sharing it with me, avoid on average 3 people/day, look at the mirror 15 times/day, day dream most of the time, curse my car, look at online catalogs for 2 work hours and stare at never ending excel sheets, files and maps the rest of the time. I watch TV soaps, think of exercise, watch a movie a day, flatten the sofa cushions, think about sex, worry about my body and looks, speak to people back home and fall asleep in a hope that it should be days before its 6:45 am (time when my alarm goes off). It kills me to know that these are all my days at least till I quit.

What do I see myself doing everyday? Wake up not having to worry about answering a bunch of people in those scary outfits as to why I overslept, stare at the green for a while like how I used to do in my childhood, have ample of time in the loo in the mornings, read a few pages, discuss everyday issues with people around me, not worry about how I look when I go to work in the mornings, walk to the small gates, give away the little wisdom at the school, not worry about checking my accounts, bills, millions of paperwork (the way I have to do it here), tune into some local channel on a TV and not on the computer, sit around with the old ladies and small kids in the house, play some pachisi, walk through the paddy fields, retire with a nice meal not worrying about how much I would put on. It would be ideal. Seems like that would keep my heart stable for a lifetime. Happy ending.

Words

Words always seem to fail me, or may be, I fail words. I always have a problem expressing my exact opinions, feelings, thoughts and other things I can’t find words for in words. Some people are jack of languages. I envy them. Authors, poets, lawyers and boasters fall in this category. They always seem to know what they want to talk or write. By the time I am done writing this little jig, I would have gone through this masterpiece a thousand times and yet it shall lie in anonymity. I wish I could go back and “proof talk” what I speak to avoid the awkwardly embarrassing pits I have fallen into.

Of course there are a zillion ways of expressing emotions. Words, works, wands and what not’s. The one which leaves a strong impression is the physical way of expression. What we write we remember better, what we physically feel we recall well. I always felt a touch of hand, a reassuring kiss, an open embrace and in most cases a stern stupefying stare, which is quiet a frequent phenomenon with me, work wonders than a string of broken words coming out in various intensities. I have had the best conversations in silence. I have had the worst altercations in speech. So alls fine as long as I am in the physical vicinity of people and if I keep shut which although is a burdening task, works well and then we all live happily ever after. Unfortunately that is never the case. What cripples me in this fast growing yet vastly shrinking world is the non verbal form of communication. Chat rooms and archived conversations – my recent nightmares. I can no longer differentiate between genuine and ingenuine thoughts. And well, look who is not left behind - awkward silences follow the trail here too. Meanwhile, browsing through the past histories, digging up issues has become an addiction in an attempt to prove few points.

I wish we could go back to the time when people cherished the few hand written words written once in a blue moon rather than fouling over accessible conversations. I wish we could go back to the time when languages were treated as a form of art, means of profound expressions. I wish we could go back when words flew like a river, fluent, vast in meaning, when people knew what they were talking and when people could understand each other without having to go through thousand conversations, when the narrations of true love and fierce wars left an impression in our minds. I wish I knew that one language perfectly so that you would understand what I am trying to say.

Your Planet Needs You

It is amazing how humans evolved as the rulers over the ages and how 99% of all the species that have ever lived are now extinct. Survival of the fittest, guess Darwin was right. It comes as no surprise as evolution is one of the inexplicably balanced phenomena of nature. What arrives as a problem is when this occurs unnaturally or is induced in the normal cycles, which as we all now is mostly attributed to the human interventions. According to a 1998 survey of 400 biologists conducted by New York's American Museum of Natural History, nearly 70 percent believed that they are currently in the early stages of a human-caused mass extinction, known as the Holocene extinction event. Studies have shown that global warming may drive one quarter of all land animals and plants to extinction by 2050.

One of the major challenges that the survival of species faces is the threat by mankind's insatiable demand for resources. The private sector has a huge impact on biodiversity through its use of natural resources, such as timber, soil and water, and extracted resources, such as minerals, oils and gas. Consumption is also being driven by our sheer numbers: the global population has more than tripled in 50 years to over 6.5 billion resulting in new businesses that are using up raw materials far more quickly than the planet can replenish them – having devastating impacts on species and ecosystems around the world.

There should be awareness in industries about creating great inroads into supply chains across entire business sectors, helping consumers to speak their minds through their purses. The solution lies in looking for alternative resources which do not portray going green as “hindrance to development”. The world needs a “Green New Deal” focused on investing in renewable sources of energy, eco-friendly infrastructure and energy efficiency. This will not only create jobs and spur recovery but also help tackle global warming. If we invest even part of the substantial new economic stimulus packages in the green economy, we can turn today’s crisis into tomorrow’s sustainable growth. Businesses also stand to gain from getting serious about sustainability, through boosting their competitiveness, increasing their profits and improving their reputation. Also, some thought should be given to establishment of sustainable societies designed to focus on issues such as balanced harvesting, poverty, deforestation, degraded soils, polluted water, disease and environmental crisis.

Mother earth is as much a home to the innumerous species as it is to humans. The impact that the depleting resources and extincting species will have on the balanced ecosystems is unfathomable. Humans have to find the thin line between consumption and conservation for their own good. As I always say, until we are able to live in Mars this is the only planet we have and somewhere the thought that “You need the planet” should inspire all of us to create sustainable businesses and work towards the theme of this year’s World Environment Day (June 5th, 2009) – “Your Planet needs you”.

World for All

India, the largest democracy in the world, the second largest populated nation, plethora of cultures and religions and also the house of Asia’s largest slum. With 42% of the Indian population below the poverty line, India is still standing large and strong with optimism for a greater nation beyond social, cultural and more importantly economical barriers and yet envisioning a religious balance and equality to be known to the global community as “truly secular”. Too far fletched a dream? In a world where everything is explored from inside of an atom to what lies beyond milky way, from cure to weirdly named diseases to solution for wrinkles, there should be enough room for innovations to further the goal of “World for All”. Leaving behind the religious harmony which entirely is dependent on the mindset of people, the economic stability is something where there is a need for great practical visionaries.

Clearly, capitalism or communism is not the solution. Distribution of wealth is rather a strain on the existing balance as these concepts “force” but not further the cause and which almost always leads to fear and ultimately rebelliousness as proved by the history. Creation of wealth should be the goal rather than distribution. The solution lies in change “from the people – for the people”. Few examples of exceptional innovations are applications of microfinance, microcredit and social business. All these systems harness the power of free market to solve the problems of poverty, hunger and inequality.

Microfinance and microcredit as we all know is the provision of financial services to low-income and self-employed clients. Microcredit is an excellent paragon of tweaking a conservative system, in this case – Capitalism, to the benefit of people. The lending of micro loans without collateral has helped many self sustained small businesses to create their own world of opportunities. It would be unfair not to mention the contributions of Muhammed Yunus, Founder of the Grameen Bank, while discussing a “poverty free world”. He pioneered microcredit, the innovative banking program that provides poor people, mainly woman an opportunity to launch businesses and create a sustainable source of income. In the past thirty years, microcredit has spread to every continent and has benefited over 100 million needy families.

Social business, on the other hand is a completely new way to use the creative vibrancy of business to tackle social problems from poverty to pollution to inadequate health care and lack of education. A business designed to meet the social cause. Businesses continue to grow, global trade is booming, multinational corporations are spreading like never before – in between all the corporate money making why anyone would consider a low profit business in developing and third world nations which are potentially a threat to development? What does social business provide to them in terms of profits? The answer lies in the question if strategically looked for. Expansions and cross-continental presence is a key to success for a business in the globalizing world. More and more businesses have started realizing this potential as a great way to market them which in turn adds greatly to their reputation. The results of this win-win situation are more apparent in a product based business. Group Danone, a French based food products company has greatly benefitted from introducing a social element to its business. Danone has infused in most of the developing nations and promises low cost and high nutrition foods to the needy. Its products have bought more profit than ever even in the developed nations like the US due to its reputation of a ‘social business’.

Applications of social business in service sector are not left behind. Although not as huge as Danone, www.babajob.com, founded by Sean Blagsvedt, a previous Microsoft employee, is a small attempt to improving the conditions of vocational workers at the same time benefitting from the venture. Currently focused in Bangalore, the site aims at providing a streamlined job search engine for the tertiary worker class like maids, drivers etc. The site includes no fee from the job seekers but charges the employers instead who look for domestic services which is otherwise a highly luck based effort.

I am sure there are a lot of unheard examples out there like Group Danone and Sean Blagsvedt. This is where exactly the young India is needed in bringing about the change by introducing novel ways into the system.

The dying shadow

She stood beneath the searing sun
evil rays burning her eyes,
knees on earth, her gaze far beyond,
only to meet the amaranthine.

A million voices raging behind,
swords, arrows, roars and raves,
they curse the star-crossed witch,
with a ferociousness that shook the waves.

Towards the east, she runs to the lord
Seeking shelter from the unknown
Alas, it’s too late,
Eating the dust, the sun is down.

The raging stream passes her by,
the voices now emanating from the bow,
searing the black beneath her feet,
they devour her heart through her soul.

They sprang like a violent lot,
unveiling the enemy, flashing her thoughts,
to which the vixen could only sing,
it was me, all this time, it was just me!

Flight of Icarus

Thoughts which I scribbled while waiting for the flight in Mumbai.. just found the paper so penning them down.

"Our present is a failure.. actions which are direct consequences of our never ending attempt to mend the past.. in a hope of a future which is right at the back of our minds every night.. perfect"

Past-Present-Future

The only three facets and the only time frames which a common man strangled in emotions can ever understand. The three constantly moving parts of the drama called life. Life goes on, so does the parts, in a vicious circle.. man plays it.

Sitting here at the airport, waiting for the flight of Icarus, the flight to my destination..
Varied images.. anxious, scared, longing, desperation, nostalgic, excited, fear, energetic, lazy, apologetic, glad, yearning, confused. Confused. Confused. a web of emotions vibrating cohesively out of the throbbing mystery box.. confused, my favorite word.

Interesting, yet disturbing. The emotions attached with each of these emotions makes me inexplicably familiar. Deja Vu. Familiarity with the forgone things in the past. Familiarity with the upcoming events of the future and the familiarity with the on going altercations of senses in my head.. presented by the present.

Your only chance. Live it up :)

Global Warming - A myth?

I am sure we all must have read or heard about the dire effects of global warming. At the same time, it is not surprising that we hear controversial statements about it all being a huge shallow myth.

The most respected scientific bodies across the world have stated unequivocally that global warming might be the next war for mankind if necessary precautions are not taken. There is no debate among the scientists about the basic facts of global warming’s cause and effects. There are many ‘irreversible’ effects observed by the research communities like climate change, glacier retreat and disappearance, sea level rise, acidification, oxygen depletion among many others, which in turn impact the many bio layers. Unchecked global warming affects the terrestrial eco-regions and the stable ways in which nature acts. In the coming centuries, it is predicted that global warming can trigger a mass extinction of about 50% of the current flora and fauna on earth. Global warming can particularly have a harsh effect on the socio economic conditions of people and countries. The likely severe impacts included increased hunger and disease due to decreased rainfall and severe weather events. No wonder that there is an increased awareness and urge regarding this matter in
all parts of the world.

Does it sound like exaggeration? How can everyday phenomenon have such drastic and huge effects? It is not surprising that many people think that it’s nothing more than a huge swindle. Earth has through centuries, gone through so much more and has yet been able to survive. The climate changes, disappearing species, submerging islands are not something new. The same science which talks about the adversities of global warming also talks about the good effects it has in maintaining the stability of the nature like infusion of increased methane and the belief of many economists that the warming produces a net benefit of increased income and better standards of living. It takes a lot more to implement green practices in terms of energy and economics to justify global warming’s effects. Supporters of this argument state that if the cause of warming is mostly natural, which in fact it is, then there is little we can do about it.

As quoted by Blaise Pascal “The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble”, I personally believe in simple logic of nature. Any minute disturbance shakes a stable system to some extent which has long term effects over a large period of time, good or bad. In the case of global warming, I believe that the consequences are greatly bad. As a part of this system, I feel responsible too. Even if the whole issue is controversial; the whole essence is that we should protect the space we live in. May be the effects are exaggerated, or the consequences too small to have gained such great attention but it is something we should be concerned of and as said, prevention is better than cure. I staunchly believe that it is the right time to act. We all in spite of the varied thinking agree to the fact that this is the only earth we got.

Man has been bestowed with the best in the life possible, the ability to think, the virtue of creation and unfortunately the power to destruct.

Epiphany

It’s been a while since I have written anything at all. Not that I write on a regular basis and now hat I wish to, I want to start with what is truly running in my head at this very moment. Some mind doctors might want to term it 'free association writing'.

I am finally tired of hanging nowhere. Disgusted at being that point in the graph where there are always points above and below me, a lame mediocre. Every time I visualize this graph, I think of millions of confused souls like me symbolizing the middle finger people keep pointing at each other, between the lines!, between the points.

But now that the boredom and disgust is literally creeping my insides and reminding me of the entire fairy tales where the lazy bum in body and mind is punished at the end of the day, lessons learnt. I, today take an oath upon the things I love the most, sleep and food, that I would become a better person by introducing some sense in my everyday life. If I fail myself, naaah there is nothing much to lose, a little self respect may be, and then back to the graph hoping that everyone might average out at my coordinates some day. ;)

And while I am writing this, I think, does it matter? Does anyone give a shit if you moved ahead or back, up or down? If you are the mediocre, the middle finger, the hanging lose thread or the ridiculed lazy grasshopper? No, it does not. All that matters is in the answer to these questions - have you done justice to your co-ordinates and space without losing a face? Are you content with the little things in life, can you accept yourself as yourself?

So here it goes. My plan of action. Start believing that you are THE person everyone dreams to be, the surreal feeling which lurks in some dark evil corner of our mind. I am forced to steal Obama’s nation spinning Cliché line here, pardon me, but ‘I CAN’. I shall shamelessly accept the conceited person inside me. I love myself the way I am. If someone begs to differ, I shall politely say go fuck yourself. Does this work? Well the good part - at least someone takes pride in you ;) and the rest will fall into place.

A moment

Resting on the road, a hot summer night,
crescent moon rising high, calm and quiet,
the black on my face, the whispering leaves
by the cool summer breeze, I lie

I travel on a shining route, to nowhere
yet touching my effervescent heart, everywhere
the odysseys of millions, under my feet
by the cool summer breeze, I sleep.